Whotrek: The Ultimate Adventure 2
by DoctorxMasterxKirk4Evar
Summary: The universe is back to normal. OR IS IT! D: D: D: The appearance of a mysterious group with unknown goals threatens the stability of the reconstructed universe... which wasn't all that stable to begin with. Jean Luc Picard and the Whotrek cast, as well as some newcomers, must band together to... do stuff. Yeah.
1. Chapter 1: Back to Reality

Chapter 1: Back to Reality

Q was on a planet. It was a nice planet. It had lots of birds. And flowers. And a large crater where the TARDIS had crash-landed on Wesley a few months back, relative to the planet's timeline. That had somehow remained, despite the universal retcon that Picard had enacted in order to fix the mess that the Continuum had created. Go figure.

Jean Louise was also on a planet. It was the same planet. Jean Lousie liked the birds. And flowers. And the fact that she was happy made Q happy. After all, Jean Louise took wonderfully after her father, hence her name.

The two Q were sitting on a picnic blanket made out of the fabric of space time and eating cookies that were really the asteroids from the waiting room ceiling for boarding Space Mountain at Disney World and were drinking tea and it was earl gray tea and it was hot. Then an explosion!

"What was that, mother?" Jean Louise asked, looking worriedly at Q.

"I don't know," Q said, which was strange, because he knew everything, "For some reason, I feel like I'm forgetting something important."

Then, an evil army came out from the woods!

"What?!" Q exclaimed, "How are you all still here? I thought you were part of the nonsense universe!"

"Well you thought wrong," said the leader of the evil army, who had red hair and lots of piercings, which was kind of hot but he was also kind of old and I actually don't like him that much and he's kind of a butt nozzle anyway, "I am a god, and my will cannot be undone. My armies and I will qoncuer the universe!"

"Don't you mean 'conquer'?"

"My word is final! Any mortal can dream of conquering, but my dreams are beyond pronunciation. I am god!"

Q raised an eyebrow.

"You realize how overdone this sort of plot is, right?"

"You underestimate my plans. I am done talking with you. Now, you shall know pain!" The evil army leader with lots of piercings and red hair raised his hand with his palm out at Q and looked at him menacingly, but Q was ready to counter!

"Not so fast!" he yelled, pulling out a PokeBall and sending out Mewtwo. Q then drew upon the power of a bunch of planets and exploded them, O-Mega evolving Mewtwo into… Frieza!

"Frieza, use Death Ball attack to blow him up!" Q commanded. Frieza turned around and gave Q a look, but he summoned a Death Ball attack and threw it at the red head guy with piercings. But the man side-stepped the attack without blinking! And the attack hit the ground! And the planet began to explode!

"Oops, I missed," Frieza said apathetically, before flying away from the planet because he was so done with this nonsense and now that Q had released him from Hell, he really had nothing better to do than to go rebuild his empire and possibly kill Goku.

"Well," Q looked down at the giant hole in the planet.

"Now you see why you truly cannot defeat me?"

"The planet is going to explode. Unless you can breathe in space, I'd say that you're pretty much finished."

"I am god!" the man muttered in response, before he turned to his army and said, "We're done here," and the group began to retreat.

Q shrugged and went back over to Jean Louise.

"Come on, we're getting out of here."

"But mother, what about the planet?" Jean Louise looked on with concern, "Shouldn't we do something about this?"

"I'll fix it later. It needs to blow up right now."

Jean Louise looked sad. While she was powerful enough to resurrect the dead and rebuild entire galaxies on her own, she didn't like it when things died; she was too responsible, just like her father.

So Q and Jean Louise Q-flickered away from the planet just as it exploded, obliterating everything and killing all the pigeons.

-

"Leader-sama, what should we do now?" said a figure that was in shadow for dramatic effect and also because I don't feel like introducing them yet.

"I will meet with the other Organization XIII leaders. They will be made aware that the Q know of our existence. Other than that, no action needs to be taken. Those two are nuisances at worst. We will continue with our plans as soon as we relocate to the next planet on our emergency relocation list."

"This wasn't included in this month's travel budget," another figure complained, "We're going to have to make up the deficit somehow."

"You have my permission to make it up by selling blood plasma," the piercing dude said to the figure, who nodded and grabbed the collar of the guy next to him, dragging him off to bleed him out a few times.

Just then, the ship's communicator rang. The leader guy walked over to the monitor and answered the call.

"Ah, Pain," the person on the screen smirked, his red monocle gleaming evilly, "I see you've completed the next phase of the plan."

"Frieza has been resurrected," Pain affirmed, "I can only hope that you've fulfilled your part of the mission as well?"

"You mean your faction's 'natural enemy'? Of course!" the man on the screen stepped aside, revealing a straw-hat-wearing figure slumped in the background, "It wasn't difficult to incapacitate him. We just had some hellhounds breathe sulfur-infused fire at him until his cells got cross-linked and his body stiffened. You shouldn't be getting any trouble from him."

"Good."

The green-haired smirky man moved back onto the screen. "I'll have my faction move on to the next operation. I suppose that's all, unless you have anything to report?"

"No."

A frown. "You still haven't located that troublesome boy, then?"

"Are you genuinely afraid of that child? What harm could he possibly do to our plans?"

"We have an agreement. You know that," the monacle-man practically snarled, "Partnered Organization leaders are supposed to eliminate one another's inherent enemies. I've started on your list of targets. Unless you want me to start expecting treachery from you, you should begin to do the same." He narrowed his eye. "Do you intend to make an enemy of me, Pain? Of the rest of the Organization?"

"Certainly not."

"See that you don't," and the screen went black.

"Idiot," Pain scoffed.

-

"Lord Harmonia, we are approaching our next destination."

"Excellent. Is the capture array ready?" Ghetsis Harmonia asked, looking down at the grunt who had some to give the report.

"Yes sir."

"Good. Tell the others to get ready. I want this done quickly."

The grunt grunted and left the room. Ghetsis turned back to the blank screen and began a lengthy monolog.

"Once my faction of the Organization manages to harness the power of the sun, we will be able to threaten entire systems with icy destruction unless they submit to our demands. They will recognize me as their lord at last. After all this time, all this planning, at last they will recognize my right to power, my perfection! At last, the world shall be mine!"


	2. Chapter 2: The Angels Take Manhattan (1)

Chapter 2: The Angels Take Manhattan! Part 1

New York City.

Or rather, New New New York. The first New York had been destroyed during a cataclysmic sea-level increase, and the second was levelled in the Battle of Moose Run, during a resource-based war with Canada. The battle in question consisted of the Canadian Army herding a group of genetically modified giant super moose into the vicinity of the city and then driving them into a stampede.

But New New New York, though smaller, was very much like the original. The sights. The smells. The crime. The very blatant American-ness. By definition, the one that sees it is the freest man on earth.

Eren Jaeger didn't recognize his surroundings. In fact, he didn't recognize much of anything. All of the buildings were unlike any that he'd ever seen, and the people going about to and fro were wearing incredibly strange clothes. A lot of them were carrying strange objects. Some of them were even talking to the air! The air stunk of something he couldn't place. And the road… the road was covered in hard, black material, and it was full of horseless carriages.

The last thing he could remember was falling asleep in his bed, thinking about his fight with Annie and wondering about where the future was going. But now, now he was standing here in his uniform and his 3D Maneuvering Gear, in this impossible place. At a loss of what else to do, he approached a man standing near what appeared to be a shopfront.

"Excuse me," he asked, "But where exactly am I?"

MEANWHILE

"Come on, old girl, what's the matter?" the Doctor tried stroking the TARDIS's console comfortingly. The whole room was shaking uncontrollably. What had started out as a routine jaunt to the Eye of Orion was now becoming a minor crisis. Fiddling with the controls, the Doctor jumped back as a shower of sparks burst from the console. The lights faded in and out as the TARDIS continued to shudder, falling, spiraling through the time vortex.

Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor tried madly to fix whatever the heck was actually wrong with his dear TARDIS. Either she was having serious trouble, or she was stubbornly refusing to go when and where he wanted her to go. Possibly a bit of both. But before the Time Lord could set about doing much of anything, the TARDIS landed with one more almighty shake.

A billow of steam issued from the console and the TARDIS buzzed with anxiety. The once fairly-pristine white walls of the control room were slick with damp soot and condensation. The old girl was quite a mess.

Standing up from where he had fallen down during the crash, the Doctor placed a hand on the console and muttered, "All right, old girl… Where have you brought me today?" Fixing his scarf, the Doctor walked over to the coat hanger, took his hat, and then headed out the door, to find himself at the literal foot of a verdigris-coated statue.

By the way, dear readers, verdigris is the blue-green stuff that forms from a chemical reaction between copper and the air. This is not to be confused with ambergris, which is more or less whale vomit. This distinction is VERY important.

"Why, you've brought me to the Statue of Liberty!" the Doctor exclaimed, addressing the TARDIS , "Dear old girl, you didn't need to make such a fuss about that! I'm always up for a little sightseeing!" The Doctor smiled his perfect smile- which quickly changed into a bewildered frown. Something here wasn't right. The surroundings didn't seem to match up historically, and that DEFINITELY was not Manhattan in the distance. If that was New New York in the distance… or worse, New New New York…

The Doctor rushed back into the TARDIS, frantically trying to pull up the current year on the console screen.

"Oh no!"

The statue opened its eyes, revealing pupil-less orbs that shimmered like opals and glowed with an unearthly light. Cracks started to run along its surface, through which radiant red light shone. The whole figure looked like it was draped in scarlet lightning. And then, with a massive tremor, a series of bright white spikes, arrayed in the shape of four wings, burst from the "statue's" back. The thing lowered its arms, the torch in its one hand now burning with blue-white fire, and turned to face the city proper. It paused, clearly intent on trying to sense something… then, with a great leap, it took to the air. It didn't take more than a matter of second for it to reach the mainland, at which point it began raining fiery destruction down upon the metropolis.

Bet you weren't expecting THAT, were you?

AT ALMOST THE PRECISE MOMENT, IN A TRENDY AND OVERLY EXPENSIVE CAFÉ

Kaoru and Hikaru Hitachiin, along with the rest of the Ouran Academy Host Club, were eating lunch and being very pretty. Even though they were technically the ones being served at the fancy, high-end restaurant, the boys couldn't help but be gorgeous, perfect gentlemen to the rather flustered waitresses .

"My dear, your beautiful eyes would put the rarest of star sapphires to shame," the princely Tamaki Suoh whispered to a meek, blushing brunette. The girl wasn't used to getting attention, and she always thought of herself as being rather plain, but this young man made her feel so beautiful!

"Oh, Kaoru, I didn't realize how hot this teacup was! I burned my hand!"

"Don't worry, Hikaru. Just put your hand in mine. That should make it better."

"Oh Kaoru…"

"Hikaru…"

Many of the waitresses nearly swooned at the over-the-top display of brotherly love, while others squeed the word "twincest" at the top of their lungs in obvious glee.

Honey-chan was happily eating strawberry shortcake in the company of his beloved Usa-chan while Mori-san stood by him protectively, and the waitresses fawned over the boy-loli and marveled at his strong, silent protector.

And in the corner, Haruhi stood there being exasperated, while Kyoya stood beside her, adjusting his glasses in a sneaky manner and writing stuff down in a little pocket notebook.

Just then, there was a sound like a massive fireball being lobbed into a city block, which was caused, not surprisingly, by a massive fireball being lobbed into a city block.

Kaoru took one look out the window, saw the "statue," and knew what he had to do. But as he stood up to leave, his brother caught his arm.

"Kaoru… you don't need to do this," Hikaru pleaded, with fear in his eyes, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"Hikaru… don't worry. I'll be back. Just… remember why we part our hair on opposite sides? If we're ever apart, just look in the mirror, and you'll see me looking back at you. Okay? I have to do this. For… for mom's sake."

The other twin didn't respond, but he didn't hinder his brother from leaving.

And so Kaoru ran off, ready to assume his alternate identity in order to fight the angel. The identity of… KAORU NAGISA!1!1!


	3. Chapter 3: Spin the Bottle and Dudes Die

Chapter 3: Spin the bottle and dudes die!

"So we just spin the bottle? And if it points to us last, you'll leave us alone? Just like that?"

"Please, you shouldn't think I'm unreasonable. If fate decrees that I let you go, then I'll let you go," the shadowy figure Britished with a sexy accent, because DANG that boy is hot! He knew that his victims wouldn't win, though, because HE HAD SEALED A SOUL INSIDE THE BOTTLE AND IT WAS BEING FORCED TO DO HIS BIDDING!

"If you do lose, however," the young man continued in a dusky, bishie voice, "then you will wish that you had never been born!" The first pawn shop dude spun the bottle, and it pointed at the cashier. Immediately, her eyes rolled back in her skull and she dropped to the floor.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed the man who had just spun the bottle. "Perhaps I should have made myself clearer. This game is a Shadow Game! Whoever the bottle points to will have their soul devoured by the shadows that lurk at the fringes of our world!" The pretty boy laughed an evil laugh that was very sexy.

"I'm getting out of here! I won't have any of your freaky Satanic nonsense!"

"You poor, foolish mortal. There's no backing out of a Shadow Game. And believe me, this 'Satan' is the least of your worries. There are far darker, more formidable powers at work here."

Hesitatingly, the man sat back down. "All right," he said, "So we take it in turns to spin the bottle, until it points to one of us?"

"Yes. Though I suggest you take aim carefully. If you take too long, your weak soul might give out under pressure." Come to think of it, the shop clerk thought, the air did feel a little thick. And what was this weight on his chest? Gulping nervously, the man reached for the bottle, and gave it another spin…

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Bakura stepped out of the shop, his pockets significantly fuller than they were before. He hadn't found what he REALLY wanted, but… a magpie will never deny itself a new shiny bauble or two when the opportunity arises. Yet another pretty boy was in front of the pawn shop, straddling a motorcycle and looking INCREDIBLY sexy.

"So, Bakura," the Egyptian boy grinned, "Did you get the One Ring to Rule Them All?"

"I'm afraid that it wasn't that simple, Marik. There's too much magical interference in this city. I managed to find a couple of amulets that were mistaken for costume jewelry, but I'm afraid that Sauron is going to have to wait a little longer. But don't worry. I'm not going to complain about having to have more than my share of fun."

"Speaking of fun, Bakura, we should totally get something to eat together." "I'm not hungry, Marik." "Well, fine. I was going to suggest going to a steakhouse or something but apparently we can't because you're not in the mood for bloody, juicy, delicious slabs of meat-"

"Fine."

"Yeah?"

"Well Marik, when you phrase it like that, how could I really refuse?"

"Great!" the sexy Egyptian with fabulous hair beamed, "Climb on, Bakura! We're going out for a night on the town!"

AFTER DINNER

"I must say that that was an excellent meal."

"Yeah. Hey Bakura, how do you scarf meat down like that without getting any blood on your shirt?"

"Well, when you kill as many people as I do and then assume the guise of an innocent cream puff of a boy, you need to be a master of not leaving any evidence on yourself."

"Interesting point, Bakura!" Marik nodded in understanding.

"And where do you dweebs think that you're going?" The two handsome villains turned around at once to find themselves face to face with a guy whom had once gone unnamed because the protagonists in that situation didn't know him but he screwed the rules and had money. But the two sexy guys knew him. And he was…

KAIBA!

SETO KAIBA!

SETO FRIGGIN' KAIBA YOU GUYS!

"I heard that you two were causing trouble in my city. I don't like it when people mess with my stuff."

"You don't own me!" Marik exclaimed. "Better check your tax records before you say something like that," retorted Kaiba.

"Ha! The joke's on you, Kaiba! I don't pay taxes! I'm a fugitive from the law! A modern-day Al Capone! An Egyptian embezzler!"

"Whatever. I don't have time for your idiot nerd stuff. I'm here to kick you two back into place." "If you think we're going to agree to a card game out here, you're mental," Bakura scoffed, "It's raining."

"Oh, believe me, I didn't plan on wasting my own energy on the likes of you. After all, I can pay people to waste their lives for me!" Suddenly, five figures in simultaneously hilarious and awesome action suits stepped out from behind Kaiba.

"It's Morphin' Time!" shouted the one in red.

"You hired the Power Rangers to beat us up?" muttered Bakura in disbelief, "Is all of this really necessary?"

"Not at all. Now, I'm going to use these dweebs," Kaiba motioned towards the Power Rangers, "To take care of you dweebs."

"Bakura, I don't want to get punched out by a Power Ranger! Even if they do fight that fashionable prince guy, and everyone knows that I'm WAY sexier than him!"

"Marik…"

"Your days of evildoing are over! Prepare to be brought to justice!" the Red Ranger announced with great gusto.

"I don't think so," the Millennium Ring hanging around Bakura's neck began to glow…

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Kaiba stood by himself in the now-pouring rain, the street running red with copious amounts of blood that 4Kids would no doubt edit out in the American release.

"Well, look at that. Your Mighty Morphing Power Rangers just morphed into a pile of dead people," Bakura smirked.

"This isn't over!" Kaiba exclaimed, before grabbing onto the rope ladder that had just come down from one of his hundred private helicopters that he kept in constant patrol above the city, just in case he ever had to avoid stepping in a mud puddle or something. The ladder lifted Kaiba up into the copter (he was too rich to climb up himself), before the aircraft rose up and disappeared above the cloud cover.

"Well, Marik, that certainly was an interesting diversion, but I believe it's about time that we continue our search for Sauron's ring."

"Right. Shotgun!"

"How can you call shotgun? We're on a motorcycle."

"Well, I get to sit in the front. That's the manly way to ride!" And the two villains drove off into the pouring rain, leaving behind just a pile of Technicolor corpses and the one monster that Bakura had conjured into existence that he hadn't bothered to de-summon after the fight- a bedraggled, lost-looking, little Kuriboh.


End file.
